I do not know how you mothers of more than one do it! Seriously. Wednesday, I had my first major mom melt down. Here’s what happened…
As you all know, Mike is back at work. Katelin had swimming lessons and so this would be my first true test of handling the girls on my own. Now let me preface this by telling you that Finley is going through a week long cluster feeding. No joke, I’ve been able to put her down to go to the bathroom and quickly fill my water glass before she screams for more food again. So anyway, we are approaching the time to go to the YMCA and Finley has been eating for about 4 hours straight. I stop the feeding and the whimpering begins. Then I get her into the car seat and the whimpering turns into a cry. By the time we are ready to head out - the cry is a full fledged wail. Then I start to cry. I’m blaming it on the hormones. (Is it me, or is it fine when other babies cry…but when it’s your baby, your heart just aches.) Katelin is asking what she can do to help. She runs and gets a pacifier. She tries to stroke Finley’s head. (she was very sweet.) I call Mike in tears, telling him I’m not cut out for this. I know I just need to figure out how to juggle everything - but I felt like a big fat failure.
We finally got to the YMCA a few minutes late and Finley slept through the whole lesson. And as soon as we got back home, the feeding frenzy began once more. I’m never leaving the house again.
on Feb 4th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
I assure you it does get easier. I am a stay at home Mom to two right now and we are expecting our 3rd in May. I never thought I would be able to handle two either. I actually didn’t venture out much by myself for quite a while. But once I did and realized that eventually it DID get easier it wasn’t so bad. You’ll find your schedule and what works for you for leaving the house with both girls. And someday it will seem like you’ve been doing it forever!
on Feb 4th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Jen,
Just hang in there. You’re an amazing mom, with 2 beautiful daughters. Just remember this too shall pass! Kaetlin will be a big help to you. You are not a failure at all. Quite the opposite! You have an amazing family. Stay strong:)
on Feb 4th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Awww Jen,
You are overwhelmed I’m sure but the bright side is that Finley appears to be one healthy little girl if she’s constantly hungry! You mentioned in one of your earlier posts that you are a “worrier”. I think most of this is just worry, as you describe, so you may have to practice “deep breaths”, and say to yourself….”everything is just fine”. Easier said than done I know, but seriously Jen……mentally try to do this when things get bothersome. I have been trying this for weeks, just with everyday stresses, and it really does work for me!
As long as Finley is fed, changed, burped, and still cries…..just remember, babies cry, that’s what they do!
If you think it may be something else, call your Dr. or Nurse, they are there for you too, 24/7 with any questions or concerns you may have!
Next time you need to go out, ask a friend or relative to go with you! Too bad I don’t live in LaCrosse, I’de volunteer!
Things will get better Jen, I promise
Looking forward to more wonderful pics. I’m sure Finley is changing alot already!
on Feb 5th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Jen you are doing an awesome job !!! Stay with a routine and things will just fall into place . Relax Relax babies can sense when you are tense Great job Katelin for helping Mom .
on Feb 5th, 2009 at 7:38 am
I would actually suggest taking the opposite approach :). Instead of never leaving the house again, I forced myself to get out!! The first few times might be hard, but then you learn that you can do it, you figure out what works well, and the little ones learn to be “flexible” and adapt to whatever and whenever. Like I said, the first couple times may be difficult, but it’s for a shorter period of time than if you stay home and get too stressed out about going out. The sooner you do it, the faster you will see just how good you are at it!!! And I know you will be!! It takes a lot of energy to have children, but what else gives you the rewards that motherhood does. Now you will get twice the smiles & grins, twice the cute little giggles & kid quotes… and most importantly twice the hugs and love. Do take that deep breath - bundle her up & go - you will figure it out as you go along… just like ALL new parents and babies must do. I, too, look forward to your return to hear all your fun stories. Love those kids to pieces - they grow too quickly :). Thanks for sharing so much with us. I have soooo enjoyed keeping up on what’s going on. It’s like I’m able to relive it all!
on Feb 5th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Hi Jen,
I am getting flashbacks right now… We have 3 boys, 12, 10 & 6. I remember going places with my 2 year old and a new baby. My crying spells were the result of little sleep! I mean I seriously just wanted to go to hotel alone just one night so I could sleep with no interruptions! Now that my baby is 6, I do get a good nights sleep, except in the middle of the night when I hear little footsteps coming down the hall, I know it’s him with his blankie and bear ready to crawl in between us for the rest of the night. Thank goodness for a king size bed.
So from one Jennifer to another, hang in there, it will soon be a distant memory!
on Feb 5th, 2009 at 9:35 am
You are not a failure! My little guys are 3 and 9 months…it wasn’t long ago I felt the same way. It does get easier and soon you’ll want to get out all of the time to show the little ones off! Stay strong…Good luck!
Heather
on Feb 5th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Jen,
We feel for our children and wish that they never cried.However its healthy for their lungs to do so.
I know things can get hectic with a baby as well as a child who has a full school schedule as well as extra out of school activities.Just remember to prioritize things and life will run much more smoothly.
What i did with my boys is had them on schedules which helped me get much needed rest (there was alot of crying on those sleep deprived days).Schedules truely do help.Sending all my will power to you.
on Feb 5th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Jen,
I was so there with you about a month ago! I have a 3 month old and even still I occasionally get teary eyed when he cries! Lack of sleep doesn’t help either! When my little guy is fussy or crying, I’ll talk to him and try to calm him down. But sometimes, I think it’s more for me than him! Hang in there! You’re doing an awesome job and I love reading about your adventures because I can totally relate!
on Feb 6th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Been there done that. I have 4 including a set of twins who are three now. Try getting out of the house once a day for just a bit. Go for a drive around the block if nothing else. It will do you and the baby a world of good. Trust me it was my saving grace.
on Feb 6th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Jen~
Sounds like you need sleep more than anything in the world. My daughter used to cry/scream 24/7 because of a medical problem (not colic) but that is a distant memory now 19 years later. Take a deep breath and know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. You are a great mom but even great moms need sleep, a long hot shower without kids and 5 minutes to go to the bathroom alone. LOL Very good advice about taking a friend with you until you feel comfy taking both girls out alone. And obviously Miss Finley is going through a growth spurt right now with all the eating! Enjoy this time with the girls…after you get a nap! LOL Have a beautiful day!
on Jun 29th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later ..